12 August 2008

Pretty bad PMS

I am close to menstruation, so it means PMS is pretty bad again.

Yesterday, I was having a discussion with a family member and when they said something totally outrageous, I could literally feel the anger rising inside my head threatening to take over. It was a weird feeling, because I was calmly eating one second and the next, this intense anger just rose inside and I literally couldn't "see" anything other than the anger, which was like this wave of intense emotion , a tide of irrational and intense emotion that just grew so huge and threatened to engulf me, just all of a sudden. It was quite surreal as I was almost observing it from the outside (and thank goodness that I was), but it wasn't the observation that was real, it was the actual feelings, how quickly they formed and how badly it affected my mind.

This sudden surge of emotions was extremely difficult to control, but I did manage it. I didn't let it take over. I took a deep breath, told my family member they should look at themselves first before laughing at other people (in a rather calm manner), all without getting getting out of control. In the past such a thing may have culminated in an angry outburst, but not this time.

Because it is so close to menstruation, PMS is at its worst, so that is why a comment such as the one my female relative made got me irrationally upset. But, I can congratulate myself, because I did not allow the extreme emotions consume me and cause me to get really angry, be totally irrational, have a huge argument and feel bad about everything. After writing the previous posts, I have told myself that I need to control my PMS/PMDD because if I cannot it will literally be hell for me, like the past times when I have had bad PMS/PMDD. I will not allow myself to experience those awful feelings again!

So today, I feel a little tired, a little deflated but not angry. And every time I get any excessive emotions that come out of nowhere, I tell myself: "it is only PMS" and those emotions do go away because that is all they are - unreal, exaggerated and irrational - totally of no use to me. Because this month's PMS is entirely my fault for not doing what I should have been doing - meditation, exercise, self-massage and regularly healthy eating - I don't feel like it has come out of nowhere: I know that it is due to me.

I know some may say that you should not need to have to do all these things to get better and relieve the PMS, but the thing is, because I used to get PMS/PMDD so bad before, I need to continue the treatment (meditation, exercise, self-massage and regularly healthy eating) for at least one year (I think) before I can expect to have any major relief, where, if I am neglecting myself one month, it wont cause any bad PMS/PMDD like it did this month.My PMS/PMDD has been happening for over 10 years - I know I cannot expect a magic cure in one month. And anyway, the treatment I am proposing, is going to help me in every area of health, not just for this.

So any women reading this - seriously, if I can do it, you can too. And I have had the more serious and worse form of PMS - PMDD and I have done it without medication of any type. So that means you can too!

1 comment:

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