12 August 2008

PMS is over

Menstruation arrived today just after lunch and the intense emotions have also gone (for the most part). 

Interestingly, my periods came 4 weeks and 1/2 a day since last month. So obviously by not buying into the irrational thoughts of PMS must have normalised my hormones in some way and not extended PMS/PMDD (like it would have in the dark horrible past) and so my periods have come in a regular manner. 

See, mind control works! If we can control ourselves, then we can achieve so much.
No wonder I was feeling so horrible and my emotions felt totally out of control yesterday. Lucky for me I was just feeling that way, but not letting it take over, so I was able to remain calmer than I normally would feel on such an irrational day.

This month. I am going to diligently do the following to get back to having wonderful periods and no PMS again:
  • Daily self-massage of my legs mainly, but also other parts of my body that I can manage myself
  • Daily exercise for at least 30 minutes
  • Eating more regularly every day (I eat really healthily, just had not been eating regularly lately)
  • Meditation every night before I go to sleep, which will help me sleep, but will also clear and refresh my mind and make me feel calmer all month
Come back to see how I fare next month.

Pretty bad PMS

I am close to menstruation, so it means PMS is pretty bad again.

Yesterday, I was having a discussion with a family member and when they said something totally outrageous, I could literally feel the anger rising inside my head threatening to take over. It was a weird feeling, because I was calmly eating one second and the next, this intense anger just rose inside and I literally couldn't "see" anything other than the anger, which was like this wave of intense emotion , a tide of irrational and intense emotion that just grew so huge and threatened to engulf me, just all of a sudden. It was quite surreal as I was almost observing it from the outside (and thank goodness that I was), but it wasn't the observation that was real, it was the actual feelings, how quickly they formed and how badly it affected my mind.

This sudden surge of emotions was extremely difficult to control, but I did manage it. I didn't let it take over. I took a deep breath, told my family member they should look at themselves first before laughing at other people (in a rather calm manner), all without getting getting out of control. In the past such a thing may have culminated in an angry outburst, but not this time.

Because it is so close to menstruation, PMS is at its worst, so that is why a comment such as the one my female relative made got me irrationally upset. But, I can congratulate myself, because I did not allow the extreme emotions consume me and cause me to get really angry, be totally irrational, have a huge argument and feel bad about everything. After writing the previous posts, I have told myself that I need to control my PMS/PMDD because if I cannot it will literally be hell for me, like the past times when I have had bad PMS/PMDD. I will not allow myself to experience those awful feelings again!

So today, I feel a little tired, a little deflated but not angry. And every time I get any excessive emotions that come out of nowhere, I tell myself: "it is only PMS" and those emotions do go away because that is all they are - unreal, exaggerated and irrational - totally of no use to me. Because this month's PMS is entirely my fault for not doing what I should have been doing - meditation, exercise, self-massage and regularly healthy eating - I don't feel like it has come out of nowhere: I know that it is due to me.

I know some may say that you should not need to have to do all these things to get better and relieve the PMS, but the thing is, because I used to get PMS/PMDD so bad before, I need to continue the treatment (meditation, exercise, self-massage and regularly healthy eating) for at least one year (I think) before I can expect to have any major relief, where, if I am neglecting myself one month, it wont cause any bad PMS/PMDD like it did this month.My PMS/PMDD has been happening for over 10 years - I know I cannot expect a magic cure in one month. And anyway, the treatment I am proposing, is going to help me in every area of health, not just for this.

So any women reading this - seriously, if I can do it, you can too. And I have had the more serious and worse form of PMS - PMDD and I have done it without medication of any type. So that means you can too!

09 August 2008

PMS and PMDD - How I am coping today

Well I have been saying: "It's only PMS" every time I feel like crying about some silly thing or other and the feeling immediately dissipates. That's how I really know that it's not a real feeling, because when I am really upset about something then no matter what I say the feeling doesn't immediately go away. Plus, when I don't have PMS, I do not tend to get so irrational and overly emotional like now. 

It's rather interesting how I can influence my mind so much as to dissipate (and cut off before they manifest too badly) those negative emotions with just those 3 simple words - "It's only PMS". It's rather comforting to know that it is just PMS making me feel like that and not something else, because it's almost like I wave those excessive emotions away with my hand when I say, "its only PMS". 

It is really interesting how I can be feeling normal emotions one second and then I feel like crying the next second and as soon as I say those words, I go back to feeling normal again. It truly is an amazing shift and it's interesting to observe that shift of emotions and generally within a few seconds: normal -> irrational -> normal. Oh and I have stopped sighing so much today. I think it is entirely due to the fact that I have been feeling more on an even emotional level today (compared to yesterday).

And my menstruation is supposed to start in a few days, so no wonder I am getting such strong PMS now - it is so close to the start of my cycle. And I described in my previous post why it was my fault that I am experiencing rather bad PMS (probably the worst in quite a while).

So, ladies, if I can do it, so can you. It is more of a challenge to do the natural way for some women, but it does work. I have to just get back to exercising, meditation, eating more regularly and I will be fine. I think I will do a little bit of dancing today - release some of those hormones.

08 August 2008

PMS is Back With a Vengeance!

PMS is back this month with a vengeance! And it's all my fault.

It's not so much the physical symptoms (although I do have some fluid retention around my whole body and breasts), it's more the emotional symptoms that have come back. Grrr!

But it's my own fault really. I know I have to do everything I need to, in order to make myself better, but this month I have not been doing everything. I have been eating well in general, but I haven't been eating at regular times. I also have done absolutely no exercise (its freezing here and winter makes me so apathetic in terms of exercise) and I have been doing no meditation and no self-massaging. And, on top of that, I have been under some stress, which is not helping. So what else am I going to expect?

I am feeling all the classic symptoms this month so much more than usual:
  • wanting to cry
  • feeling angry
  • feeling easily irritated
  • hating everyone
  • isolating myself
  • no energy
  • very apathetic
Great set of symptoms huh? No wonder men get so scared when we utter those three letters - PMS and now PMDD.

But, what I have been doing to make myself feel better is the following:
  • When I feel any negative emotion boiling up I simply tell myself "it's only PMS" and that seems to make me feel better. If I don't know why I am feeling bad, then I usually take hold of whatever is annoying me and making it so much bigger and more horrible than it really is and then I just feel worse and worse and worse, with the negative feelings feeding on the PMS and then I fall into a pit of despair and depression, which is not helpful for me. So by telling myself that "it's only PMS" it means I am cutting off the negative emotions before they spiral out of control. It's basically a reality check I decided on trying (I don't even remember how I came to think like this) to make me realise that these negative emotions were not real (or really ultra exaggerated) and only a symptom of PMS. Seriously, it's amazing (almost magical) how well it works. Just now I started to feel like crying (for absolutely no reason whatsoever) and I told myself "its only PMS" and that emotion went. But I warn you, some days (like today), I have had to say that little phrase at least 50 times and some days it could be more, so it's that simple to get rid of the emotions as they tend to come back again and again (those hormones again), but if you persevere, I am kind of re-training my brain a little to the point where my emotions do not feel quite so out of control, as I know they will pass. If I tell myself this same phrase over and over again, it seems to help me, because it makes me realise its not me going crazily emotional over absolutely nothing, it's just PMS/PMDD

  • Whenever the irrational thoughts come into my mind, I take a big breath, take a stand back for a second and tell myself why I am being irrational with irrefutable logic, as many times as I need to, or as long as I need to in order to get my mind into being rational again. I know how hard it to rein in that negative and irrational and highly emotional thinking, but I have done it, so you can too.

    To give other women a good idea about just how irrational/highly emotional I can get and even though it is quite embarrassing, I will give examples about the seemingly silly things I get irrational about when I have PMS/PMDD, so that other women know they are in good company: (1) I went to a food court for lunch and I got so upset that I had tears in my eyes and wanted to cry so bad (I stopped the tears before they came out, but if I wasn't in such a public place, I would have bawled like a cry-baby) because one food vendor had no food without butter. I am lactose intolerant and I cannot handle dairy products. And it wasn't like there were no other food vendors around, because there were, but I just was so upset that this food vendor had no food for me, as if they hated me - I just took it so personally. Just one example of total irrationality. (2) It was Christmas one year with my family and just before everyone was due to open up their presents, I went to the toilet. When I came back everyone had already unwrapped their presents and were looking at them or playing with them - and I had only been gone about 1 minute. I got so upset that my family disregarded me that badly that I told them I hated them (I was in my early 30's and not a teenager!) and ran to my room, where I proceeded to ball my eyes out with those great hiccuping tears, rather than tell them off for being so damn impatient (like they couldn't wait one minute), like a normal person would. They had to coax me out of my room and apologise profusely before I would emerge back to the lounge room and finally open my presents. Ah yes, another embarrassing example of my extreme emotional ride at PMS time. I could go on, as there are so many more examples, but I will leave it at this for now. But suffice it to say, a lot of people around me tell me that they used to be on tenterhooks when I had PMS in the past, afraid to say anything to upset me (as basically just about everything did) - and we are talking about 2 weeks of PMS out of every 5 weeks or so that I used to have. That's pretty bad. So what I am saying here is that my tips really work.

  • I use some herbal teas to make me feel more relaxed - the one I use has chamomile, lemon balm and peppermint. It's organic (of course) and really nice. I also use to it to relax me before going to bed

  • This evening, I am going to do some meditation, as that seems to help even more than any vitamins or herbs to dissipate both the emotional symptoms, but also the physical symptoms (such as bloating)

  • I am also going to have a lovely bath with some rock salt and some lavender - that always seems to make me feel better any time

  • I really need to eat food more regularly, as that will raise my energy levels and give me less reason to feel bad

  • What I would really love, is a massage every day - as that would definitely put me in a better mood, but alas I am not wealthy enough to do that
Today is like one week prior to my periods and I am feeling the PMS (or rather PMDD) rather acutely, so I started my action plan (as above) last night and it has helped a lot. I have basically been using points 1 and 3 so far in the last day as I am still within the rational realms. I haven't had to use point 2, which is reserved for those exceedingly irrational days and hopefully this month I wont have to. The thing that is important is to cut off those negative emotions before they take hold, because if you try when they are at their worst, it is so much harder to get back to normal.

Its all about controlling your mind. Seriously. Our hormones start of in the brain, in the pituitary gland. Our hormones work very closely with our emotions and I really believe that PMS (once it does take hold, when we are not doing the proper nutrition, meditation, massage) can be controlled by your mind. I have proved it to myself time and time again. You have to tell yourself that these emotions are not real (or an exaggeration, which again means they are not real) and that you are ok. It really is that simple.

So remember (me and every other woman who reads this):
  • Cut off those negative emotions/crying/irritation/etc before they take hold
I am still sighing somewhat (really big sighs where I am trying to get some air as I am not breathing properly enough), but I don't feel so much of the negativity by relieving my mind of the PMS symptoms a little as I have listed above.

So I just wanted to show other women that no matter how bad it is, there is always something you can do to make yourself feel better - if I can then anyone can!